The Art of Loving

Have you ever actually listened to the lyrics of the song Still Falling For You by Ellie Goulding? It’s powerful – like fire and ice, brighter than gold, rolling the dice. I’ve had it on repeat all. day. LONG.

As we grow and we learn about ourselves, we learn what we’re capable of, we learn what’s important, we learn what matters – but more importantly we learn WHO is important to us. Some of us have that feeling of significance early on, others wait and wait and wait for that day to come, and are still waiting. I for some odd reason have been getting a lot of questions lately about what I think about love, about my personal life, and how does someone who works as much as I do ever find time to love?

The art of loving someone is simple. And to the people who are rolling their eyes at “another sappy love post” I’ll have you know I have felt loved before – and it’s the most intense, terrifying, invigorating feeling any human can ever feel. And it’s just as intense the second it’s taken away from you. So, again, I tell you to stop the eye roll – you’re still reading this for a reason 🙂

Step 1: Close Your Eyes – It’s easy to like what you see, to trust what’s in front of you – it’s real, it’s concrete, it’s certain – it’s something you can physically SEE. But the second you close your eyes  and focus on the dark – that’s when you are able to trust, to fall, to really truly learn who someone is, wholeheartedly. Seeing is NOT believing.

Step 2: Open Your Mind – It’s second nature to go with your gut, to go with what seems right, to choose the reasonable or easy route – but if you close your mind off to the possibilities that lie within the routes that are more difficult, not as clear, and even a little questionable, you will always be wondering what could’ve become if you had taken a chance, and gone with the unknown.

Step 3: Leave the Ghosts in Your Closet Behind – The way someone else has hurt you does not mean another will do the same. Every person is a new person – every person deserves a fresh start – their OWN start, their own closet. Leave your past in your past – because if you condemn each and every new person that walks into your life to carry the burden of your ghosts – they will fall down heavy every single time – they will be set up for failure, and they will never be able to rise above that or be enough for you. You will always doubt them. You will never trust them. You can never love them. Let. them. Go.

Step 4: Stop Thinking You Know – Because you don’t. You don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow, in a week, in a year, in a decade. You don’t know who you may meet tomorrow, in a week, in a year, in a decade. Too many people settle, they rush, they desperately try to manage and predict the future by taking it into their own hands when they should’ve left that with God, with the heavens. With destiny. You cannot choose your destiny – destiny must find you and you must LET IT. Let go of control – let go of trying to figure it all out on your own – because you won’t.

Step 5: Give It Your All – Rome was not built in a day, Cairo was not conquered in a week, love cannot be built half heartedly. Give it your all – give them your ALL. Be an open book, be vulnerable, share your happiness, share your sadness, be honest – even when it hurts. Love isn’t about birds and roses and perfect pictures. It’s about aching when you’re not with the other person because you feel like you’ve lost your other half – your BETTER half. The half that makes you feel alive, makes you feel beautiful, makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. The half that makes you laugh, motivates you, makes you a BETTER person. Love is about having that person to become a better you, to make a better them- and vice versa. It’s an infinite growth – it never stops – love never stops growing – and the beautiful thing is you grow together – making each other better every single day.

So when people ask me what do I look for in a man? What is my “Checklist” comprised of? Well, let me tell you – it use to be one helluva long laundry list. Until one relationship made me realize, absolutely NOTHING on my list mattered – not one single, immature, pointless thing. For me, it’s simple now, there is one major thing: Unity. As in we are stronger together, as in I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He makes me laugh, he open my eyes, he encourages me, he comforts me, he supports me, he stays by my side through the storm. I make him laugh, I open his eyes, I encourage him, I comfort him, I support him, I stay by his side through the storm. If I can imagine life without him – that’s the end of the race.

Last but not least, I want to repeat myself – you cannot rush love, you cannot rush life to see where you end up. Enjoy where you are, enjoy the moments, the people, and indulge in it.

Sincerely, Ss

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