The Desire for Different

I’ve been sensing a lot of people experiencing FOMO (fear of missing out) lately.. Whether it’s because they’re itching to travel or try something new or if is because they’re freaking out because they just got invited to the hundredth wedding or baby shower of the season. 

There are so many people who fall short of their talents, their capabilities, their dreams because they are so busy worrying about what could be instead of focusing on what is. They’re either too scared to go for it or too worried that they will fall short and then their “blueprint plan” will fall apart – people think others criticize them for failing or will judge them for even trying. But who wants to follow a blueprint plan? 

Let me tell you one thing first: there is no one blueprint plan to this thing we call life, there’s no such thing as doing it wrong – it’s up to YOU to do what’s best FOR YOU. Doing what’s best for you, does not mean analyzing others’ lives to determine what worked for them and how you can replicate their seemingly perfect life – because what worked for them, may not work for you. And – what you see is not always how it really is, you know – “perfect.” It’s all about perception. Why would you want to fall into a blueprint routine? What happened to the desire to do something different?

I get a lot of questions about how I pulled the trigger and picked up my whole life after college in Missouri and moved to Los Angeles without a job, without a plan, without many friends, and without any clue as to what was going to happen once I got there.

 But I went anyways. I figured, I have no other plan (my “blueprint plan” had fallen apart after losing two solid $$$ job offers in Boston and Atlanta and found out my current boyfriend had cheated on me – several times, for several months) so it’s now or never. I didn’t want the things I wish I had tried, things I wish I had done, risks I wish I would have taken to come back and haunt me because my plan fell apart, my heart was broken and I was feeling sorry for myself. I have failed trying over and over again, but at least i came away with a lesson learned

People looking in from the outside – really don’t understand just how hard I have worked to get where I am. Yes, my snapchat and instagram look like a jolly-good time, but I have worked and worked and worked to get to the position I am in – and it didn’t happen overnight – and it didn’t happen from me laying on a beach all day. But you know what? I am the happiest I have EVER been. I am motivated, I wake up challenged every day, I feel valued, I am surrounded by other motivated, successful, supportive people. And I feel like I am home, like I have a tiny bit of control for the first time in yearssssss. 

Moving out of state for college from Wisconsin to Missouri, not knowing a soul, and honestly didn’t exactly known where Missouri was on the US map before having to drive 11 hours to get there – I had absolutely NO idea what I was getting into going south. The first year was really tough – I wanted to move home all the time, but I didn’t, mainly because my college credits wouldn’t transfer – but more so because what would running home do for me? It would put me a rut, and regret of giving up. Giving up, quitting – was not an option in my plan-book. Studying at Missouri State gave me the desire to want to do something different – away from my southern/midwest roots – something completely off-the-charts. That’s when I attended my first “study abroad” meeting, and my whole life changed.

Pulling another trigger to study abroad in Italy was terrifying.  Living in Milan took every plan out of the concept of “plan-book” and really took the book too and just left me with a cone full of gelato and head jumbled full of Italian words I didn’t understand. And I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world. It gave me the confidence, the push, the desire to do something different – outside of my original “plan” and part of that plan – was to just not plan so much! Yes, you should think things through – but sometimes the best things happen when you lease expect it.

So before you continue to panic about all your friends getting married, stare blankly at all your friends having babies, gasp at all your friends globetrotting the world while you stare at an empty bank account, sigh at all your friends shopaholic tendencies and fab neck scarf collections, and purse your lips at all your friends getting killer jobs/raises/promotions – just remember – THAT CAN BE YOU. I quite honestly didn’t even notice how often I said “desire to do something different” until I was re-reading what I just wrote, and decided – that was a good theme… and that is possibly the answer to the biggest passion and motivation in my life.

I challenge you to HONESTLY answer these questions – I promise when you do, and write them down on paper – your TRUE answers to your questions will be staring right back at you. I’ve answered them below for myself. Now answer them for YOU and NO ONE else.

  1. What are you passionate about? Being creative – using my imagination (what this answers for me: I need creativity in order to feel fulfilled)
  2. What makes you wake up in the morning? The motivation to take on the challenges of my job (what this answers for me: success is important, and I am a workaholic)
  3. Who inspires you? Women making a name for themselves (what this answers for me: the thought of endless possibilities is inspiring to me)
  4. If you could do ANYTHING today, what would it be? Start my own shoe line (what this answers for me: just another question – what’s stopping you?)
  5. When was the last time you felt untouchable? 70ft under the ocean (what this answers for me: I need to make more time for myself – investing in yourself is pertinent to success)
  6. What was the one experience you wish you could live over and over again? Living in Italy (what this answers for me: I cannot stay in one place forever, and I will live abroad again someday – because I can)

Do I want to get married? OF COURSE. Do I want kids? Yes – I think so. Do I have it all figured out – ABSOLUTELY NOT. But I am taking steps to make myself more aware of how I think, what I feel, why I feel, how I can make a difference, what pushes me, what fulfills me, what makes ME happy?

Just be honest with yourself. Follow YOUR dreams – and stop obsessing over the time clock – we all go to heaven eventually. So surround yourself with the people you want to run out time with. Find things you want to invest that time in. and never be afraid to be yourself.

Sincerely, Ss


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