The Art of Loving


Have you ever actually listened to the lyrics of the song Still Falling For You by Ellie Goulding? It’s powerful – like fire and ice, brighter than gold, rolling the dice. I’ve had it on repeat all. day. LONG.

As we grow and we learn about ourselves, we learn what we’re capable of, we learn what’s important, we learn what matters – but more importantly we learn WHO is important to us. Some of us have that feeling of significance early on, others wait and wait and wait for that day to come, and are still waiting. I for some odd reason have been getting a lot of questions lately about what I think about love, about my personal life, and how does someone who works as much as I do ever find time to love?

The art of loving someone is simple. And to the people who are rolling their eyes at “another sappy love post” I’ll have you know I have felt loved before – and it’s the most intense, terrifying, invigorating feeling any human can ever feel. And it’s just as intense the second it’s taken away from you. So, again, I tell you to stop the eye roll – you’re still reading this for a reason ๐Ÿ™‚

Step 1: Close Your Eyes – It’s easy to like what you see, to trust what’s in front of you – it’s real, it’s concrete, it’s certain – it’s something you can physically SEE. But the second you close your eyes  and focus on the dark – that’s when you are able to trust, to fall, to really truly learn who someone is, wholeheartedly. Seeing is NOT believing.

Step 2: Open Your Mind – It’s second nature to go with your gut, to go with what seems right, to choose the reasonable or easy route – but if you close your mind off to the possibilities that lie within the routes that are more difficult, not as clear, and even a little questionable, you will always be wondering what could’ve become if you had taken a chance, and gone with the unknown.

Step 3: Leave the Ghosts in Your Closet Behind – The way someone else has hurt you does not mean another will do the same. Every person is a new person – every person deserves a fresh start – their OWN start, their own closet. Leave your past in your past – because if you condemn each and every new person that walks into your life to carry the burden of your ghosts – they will fall down heavy every single time – they will be set up for failure, and they will never be able to rise above that or be enough for you. You will always doubt them. You will never trust them. You can never love them. Let. them. Go.

Step 4: Stop Thinking You Know – Because you don’t. You don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow, in a week, in a year, in a decade. You don’t know who you may meet tomorrow, in a week, in a year, in a decade. Too many people settle, they rush, they desperately try to manage and predict the future by taking it into their own hands when they should’ve left that with God, with the heavens. With destiny. You cannot choose your destiny – destiny must find you and you must LET IT. Let go of control – let go of trying to figure it all out on your own – because you won’t.

Step 5: Give It Your All – Rome was not built in a day, Cairo was not conquered in a week, love cannot be built half heartedly. Give it your all – give them your ALL. Be an open book, be vulnerable, share your happiness, share your sadness, be honest – even when it hurts. Love isn’t about birds and roses and perfect pictures. It’s about aching when you’re not with the other person because you feel like you’ve lost your other half – your BETTER half. The half that makes you feel alive, makes you feel beautiful, makes you feel like you’re on top of the world. The half that makes you laugh, motivates you, makes you a BETTER person. Love is about having that person to become a better you, to make a better them- and vice versa. It’s an infinite growth – it never stops – love never stops growing – and the beautiful thing is you grow together – making each other better every single day.

So when people ask me what do I look for in a man? What is my “Checklist” comprised of? Well, let me tell you – it use to be one helluva long laundry list. Until one relationship made me realize, absolutely NOTHING on my list mattered – not one single, immature, pointless thing. For me, it’s simple now, there is one major thing: Unity. As in we are stronger together, as in I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He makes me laugh, he open my eyes, he encourages me, he comforts me, he supports me, he stays by my side through the storm. I make him laugh, I open his eyes, I encourage him, I comfort him, I support him, I stay by his side through the storm. If I can imagine life without him – that’s the end of the race.

Last but not least, I want to repeat myself – you cannot rush love, you cannot rush life to see where you end up. Enjoy where you are, enjoy the moments, the people, and indulge in it.

Sincerely, Ss

Not All Who Wander Are Lost

I’ve met a lot of people along the way who have asked me how I’m so fearless, willing to try anything, and how my confidence is never skewed. This is merely a perception. The point of taking risks is being fearless. You have to be fearless in order to give your risk a chance of succeeding.
So many people are afraid of failure – I, a hardcore perfectionist and stubborn Capricorn – am PETRIFIED of failure. The fear of failing flows through every vein my body and beat of my heart. But I’ve come to learn to manage that fear and channel it into motivation, a way of pushing myself even farther. 

Overcoming fear has a lot to do with self-perception and self confidence. Once you believe in yourself, you have less fear. Seems logical, right? But most people seem to think being fearless means being naรฏve. This is sooo not the case. If you are willing to take chances, you are not naรฏve. Being naรฏve is doing something without understanding or accepting what the outcome could be. 

I’ve come to find that traveling has been the biggest gift when it comes to my confidence and ability to manage my fear. When I took off to Italy to live in Milan for a semester with no idea as to what to expect, I was nervous, anxious and most of all completely clueless. I didn’t have much international travel experience under my belt and barely knew a lick of Italian (my first biggest mistake). From the moment I arrived to the moment I left I was learning something new about myself every second of every day, and some of it I didn’t like so much. 

You may wonder – what could you learn about yourself and not like? Well – I learned, or just finally came to terms with, the fact that I am hands down one of the most stubborn people on the planet. When I believe something I don’t budge. When I feel something, I don’t change my view. When I do something – I own it entirely. This isn’t such a bad thing – but it can cause one to be very closed minded. And being closed minded is a lethal trait when in a foreign country living by someone else’s culture and rules. 

I use to have to have a plan for EVERYTHING- down to what time I would brush my teeth at night. Going to Italy – I had to throw that habit out the window because there were way too many things I couldn’t plan for – like the metro breaking down, power going out, walking all the way to class to find out its been cancelled, being asked on a last minute trip to another new country (sounds exciting yes but when you’re a habitual planner this can cause major anxiety), and the list goes on. 

My lesson and final thoughts for you: make the most of everything  you do and never be afraid to change your ways. Drop your plans, your walls, your reservations. And just live freely. You’ll be amazed where life takes you.

Once I let go of all my reservations – I had the best 6 months in Italy, the least stressful last semester of college, and jumped off the deep end by moving to LA without a job and barely knew a soul. Now I have many friends, connections and experiences. 

Can’t wait to see what’s next. 

Always enjoy the journey and believe in yourself – life’s too short to stay unhappy. 

Sincerely, Ss

Onward + Upwardย 


I had an “ah-ha!” revolutionary moment yesterday. It’s so important to keep moving forward. In a world of crazy schedules, mishaps, excitement, turmoil, it’s hard to have clarity on a daily basis. We are generally so wrapped up in what’s happening we forget to stop and reflect. I am not saying you need to analyze your everyday, but I believe it’s important to recognize how you’re spending your time. Is it at work? Is it obsessing about money? Is it pouring all your heart and energy into a one-sided relationship hoping it will turn into two-ways? Time is such a precious gift in life, we can’t rewind, we can’t fast forward, we can only change the present and need to focus on that. So don’t get held up in what happened yesterday- it happened. Let it go. Focus on how to deal with it today and move forward.

When you don’t allow yourself to move forward, you are going to miss out on the things right in front of you. 

As a perfectionist with slight OCD, I have a very difficult time letting go and moving forward. I obsess about the things I think I could’ve done better. And Heaven help me if I feel like I’ve failed, because I hold onto that tighter than a childhood teddy bear, never wanting to let it go. I hold fear of failure so high that I constantly find myself consumed with anxiety, regret, and passive optimism. I do a good job at hiding my anxieties because part of being an OCD perfectionist is you never let people see your weaknesses, that you may be hurting, that you’re struggling. It’s not about ego- it’s about strength. 

Just wanted to encourage you guys- today is a new day, and the first day of the rest of your life. And when you treat each day that way, as a blank slate, renews nothing you can’t do or change or strive for. Yesterday doesn’t matter. Never lose your confidence to be your entire self, everyday, in weakness and in strength. 

Sincerely, Ss

Watch Out Monday

 

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When you wake up in the morning, what’s the first thing you do? Here’s my list of top 5 things I do every morning to help kick start my day on a positive, healthy and timely note.

  1. 5:30am – Gym : make sure you mix it up every day ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿฝ
  2. Meditate & stretch for ๐Ÿ”Ÿ minutes ๐Ÿ˜Œ
  3. Eat a large, protein packed breakfast – & for women that may mean adding a protein shake to your morning. (I use @shredz women’s formula : vanilla) Check the fitness section for the “10 best breakfasts for your body” ๐Ÿณ
  4. Pack snacks for the day and set a time to eat them, it sub-consciously gives you something to look forward to during the day: things like almonds & cucumbers are mind teasers and craving killers ๐Ÿ’ฅ
  5. Listen to music, a motivational speaker, sermon or comedian  : while showering, getting ready & eating, play music that boosts your current mood – Artists like Green Mountain State to Taylor Swift and the Black Keys to mix it up. – Speakers like Nick Vujicic, Amy Poehler or Steven Furtick. ๐ŸŽถ

But most of all, get up, go out and make the most of your day! Every day is a new day to follow your dreams.

Sincerely, Ss